highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
