Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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