I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
