I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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