I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
