dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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