have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
