I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
