Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
