11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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