I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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