Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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