I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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