watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
