God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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