the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
