I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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