party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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