did you get engaged???
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
