Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
