im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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