1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
