My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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