I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
