Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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