also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
