I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
