Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
