if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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