is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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