i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Randomize
