she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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