Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
