Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
