I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
