I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
