You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
