First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you win again, gameday.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
