so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
