I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
