I think my fart just growled at me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
