the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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