Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
