I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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