We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
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