I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
