i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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