Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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