Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
