A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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