I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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