You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
