Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
