just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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