I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
this beer tastes like vomit already
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
