think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
