awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize