I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize