just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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