What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
