I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
