Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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