Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
